uncanny - Word of the Day from Dictionary.com

uncanny - Word of the Day from Dictionary.com

Masks...

There are masks all over the world -throughout all cultures. But, not only does the mask exist in cultures; also, in ourselves. Every person has different masks for different situations: for parties, within friends, for parents, for the elderly, for politicians, etc... Where do these masks come from? It is something that it is developed through your life cycle. As you grow and learn and are indoctrinated, it is developed and it shrouds the original -you. These are the consequences of integration into society. The only time that you are the most innocent and the most true is during your childhood. Of course, there are exceptions in society. There are those who have kept their innocence, but they are found as queer and unable to take part in society. Their uncorrupted innocence -overstating- and their intolerable honesty is the cause of their rejection -an admirable attribute which cannot be gained through normal means.

I, too, have masks, but I consider them more manifestations than masks. They were born with the rejection of society. The first is a manifestation of my positive desires, normally manifesting in the form of an action -appropriate to the time. It is a she. The second is a manifestation of what is not known to me. It has no form nor colour; it only has a voice and a ear to listen. The last is the manifestation of my inspirations and my aspirations; a person who can achieve what is required without hesitation. He can pull the trigger when its needed and can lend a hand while everyone throws stones at him. I am not mad, but have done the required to survive without society. 

It has been Quite SOme TiMe

It has been quite some time that I have actually written in my blog. Today, it is of my utmost desire to tell a tale, which I wish not to be appreciated nor heard, but as a relief for the inability to be understood by those around me. It has been quite some time that my dreams have caught my attention. I am no man to be fooled or to take heed of any which may be a reproduction of my memory, but the unique characteristics of these dreams are highly unlikely. Would you not be intrigued by the ability to interact in a dream or to hallucinate within a hallucination or to dream within a dream? I certainly am; if my brother were to read this, I would become the main event in a mockery. Anyhow, for ages I have been haunted by dreams, which its borders from a nightmare, are not defined. The slaughter of my fellow classmates with me as a victim; a mental asylum where light does not shine and snow does not falter; a Cinderella story reversed, with hallucinations and dreams of a woman; a Mandarin phrase -a language untouched by me- with me gaining the ability to pronounce it; and suffering from schizophrenia with me acknowledging such fact; these are a few of the many which I cannot recall at this moment. None the less, it all changed one day. For the first time in my life—a dream which can be accepted as common among others— came to reside in my mind -engraving an image. Ironically, the normality of it is the reason why it may be called strange. A person whose dreams have been quaint all of his life is now dreaming something to be considered the norm? Strange, indeed it is. But, the normality of it came to seize a day -as I had expected. The dream was of a smiling damsel whose beauty surpassed all those that I have ever seen. At first, its importance was belittled by me. The prime supposition was a the manifestation of a deep desire, since I have kept my chastity for eighteen years, next month, yesterday. Yet, a question was born. Why was it so normal? Understood not by me, I took it as something trivial and cast it aside. Two months later, a video -made about four years ago- was brought to me of a Japanese Pop group currently known as Morning Musume, ironically, by my brother. Whether a spurt of boredom or a prowl for hormonal satisfaction, I viewed it. I grew quite fond of it and searched for more. I obtained one of their singles and heard the songs which it brought. The second song of the single was bright as the sun and enticed me to search for its video. Unfortunately -what I thought at that time-, there was only a live performance. Oh the cruelty, I did despise such form of recording at that time. A particular performer caught my eye. She most certainly was not the most enchanting, but the most unique. While others dressed the familiarized stereotype, she dressed as a punk, even though her on-stage persona did not fit the image. Suddenly, she smiled. At first glance, it was not bewitching enough to mesmerise me; until I noticed something. Her smile was completely identical to the person who I dreamt. To my astonishment, the person from my dream exists! But, I realized that jumping to such conclusions was foolish, so I began a thorough research of Images, videos, games, and any form of broadcast that might be the cause of the dream. In other words, I took a journey to prove that she was not the person from my dream. I live in a country with no televisional contact with Japan of any kind; therefore, it was highly improbable for me to view her through the television. I struggled and could not prove that she was not the person of my dream, but doubts still remained. A month later, I saw a video which was a replica of my dream, though not exact, but enough to prove that she was that damsel. But, why would I dream of a person who I have had no contact in the past, and most likely will not have such contact? Nonetheless, it has sprouted a raison d'être. Now, a want has become a necessity, thus I shall complete the requirements and find out the reason why.