Qui pro Quo

The law of equivalent exchange states that -in order to obtain something- you must first give something of equal value. This has been translated and evolved into many forms: Law of Conservation of Matter, Law of Conservation of Energy, You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours, Tit for taut, Qui pro Quo, etc... Today, I obtained something which I had lost, but lost something that I had thought I had found. I always looked at the past, when I was at my academic glory and wished to repeat such actions, but could never do such a thing for I had not found what motivated me before. I grew tired of searching the past and looked for the future. I began searching something that is important to me and I even thought I had found it: hope. I thought I had found a hope, which is irreplaceable in this world. I was wrong. That hope, which I am searching for, is still lost, proven by the betrayal that I faced today. Nonetheless, I found what motivated me in the past. The betrayal made me lose my hope on my fellow citizens, but made me gain the factor that I was looking for: hate. It was a hate and a motivation to bring on the demise of the institution with my exaltation that sprouted my success: an achievement that can satisfy my hate. Will I ever find that hope again? Probably, where I am hoping to go, I will find it, but for now, I have to rot in the location where my nightmarish hell has come to pass.